Why is it hard to write about myself?

Whenever I went outside for a walk, I often stumbled upon new stories. As if I experienced a lot in my life to write them up. When people tell me their stories, I immediately think of something to write. 
 
Just like this sunny afternoon, as I walked through the coffee shop that I always visited, I saw a group of friends talking and laughing while enjoying their drinks. And I thought of something again: "Maybe they love matcha coffee" because all of them have that.
 
And that thought hit me. 
 
Why is it easy to determine someone’s likes and dislikes? While I can’t even know why I grabbed a cafè mocha, is it because I like it? Or did I just order it because I saw it in someone’s hand? Why is it easy to write about someone’s life when I can’t write about how my day went? 
 
In me, I’m confused, hesitant, and lost. Maybe it’s because I spent a lot of my time knowing what others have, want, and don’t want. I’m confused, and I can’t even tell why I’m writing this. I’m hesitant. Will people understand me? Or should I just leave this here? 
 
I’m lost.
 
How can I go back to the start? I want to know myself better than I know others.

Written by Seenicaetoh